Vulnerability

Sometimes timing is the only thing that matters. Sometimes it makes a difference whether or not people watch what you're doing. Sometimes you have no choice, say, or evidence to back up the way you feel and why you feel it.

When truth comes to truth everyone looks out for themselves. Deep bonds built from years of knowing each other and maybe even love dissolve in a second when someone feels endangered.
But this danger doesn't need to be life threatening or anything of the sort, just if they don't want to do something, or feel particularly badly.

Sometimes no matter how much you look out for a person, no matter how much you love them and effort you put into making them happy, they don't give a damn how you feel. When it comes down to it they're just trying to get things done for themselves.

Yet no matter how many times they do this to you, you can and always will be caught again. No matter how much you warn yourself, protect yourself, they're going to come bowling in again and take what they need and leave. Each time you think, well maybe she's actually serious this time, or I can't help but do something, I can't sit by while she suffers, and each time you dig them out, but once they're free they just walk away.

I don't think anyone can ever get used to being taken advantage of, but if they do nothing good can come of it. they'll become resigned, depressed, and have no leadership over their own lives. Maybe that's why I always get hurt, because I always think there has to be some caring in this person, there has to be something beneath the past, their actions, and their manner. But you know, that's really just who they are and theirs no way to tell what will come of it.

So each time you're just left to wonder and speculate at their own cold feelings and your idiotic actions. Each time you think you'll do better next time, and each next time you do the same thing. Maybe that's what comes from too warm a heart, maybe that's why everything always hurts, no matter how much you smile. Because you know that it's going to hurt again and you're just waiting for that to happen.