My Prayers to the Virginia Tech Victims and Their Families

There are some days that go down in History, that everyone remembers because of the depth of the day. Unfortunately, these days are usually connected to tragedies. Yesterday, Monday, April 16, 2007, was one such day when a shooter entered the Virginia Tech school and killed 32 people, injured 27 more, and then himself.

As our nation is left in breathless horror we concentrate on the severity of the situation. I heard a statistic that said that of all the tragic school shootings around the world, most are preformed by
outsiders, by older adults. Yet in America, the perpetrator is most often a student who attended the school. Facts such as these linked with occurrences such as the one that happened yesterday lead to unrest and general distraught.

It's truly horrible to think that one student could be bullied and depressed enough to think of killing, but to know that he then carried it out and took the lives of 32 other people while affecting the lives of 27 more is even more horrendous. What would anyone do if they were put through any specific circumstances, and how will we ever be able to know what those circumstances were.

But we are left to grieve, fear, wonder, and mourn for those whose lives have been taken or directly affected. For you see, any decent human would have been affected by the almost incomprehensible happenings of yesterday.

But from this too there is still more to wonder. In Iraq people die everyday, American citizens are used to hearing death counts on the nightly news. Maybe they will stop and blink or maybe they won't. But they will go on with their lives after a few seconds at most. Are we such a self-centered, numb nation as to only care about these tragedies if they happen in our backyard? Yes, it seems we are.

We will live on, while others can not. We will push to the back of our minds what others may never be the same. We will mourn, for those who never will again. And then we will forget, we will think of it at times, but it will no longer be important while some still grieve and will always grieve for their loss.

But in these few days we as a nation, and even maybe as a world, will grieve for the distraught families, for the lost lives, and for the dampened faith caused by this tragedy,

Vulnerability

Sometimes timing is the only thing that matters. Sometimes it makes a difference whether or not people watch what you're doing. Sometimes you have no choice, say, or evidence to back up the way you feel and why you feel it.

When truth comes to truth everyone looks out for themselves. Deep bonds built from years of knowing each other and maybe even love dissolve in a second when someone feels endangered.
But this danger doesn't need to be life threatening or anything of the sort, just if they don't want to do something, or feel particularly badly.

Sometimes no matter how much you look out for a person, no matter how much you love them and effort you put into making them happy, they don't give a damn how you feel. When it comes down to it they're just trying to get things done for themselves.

Yet no matter how many times they do this to you, you can and always will be caught again. No matter how much you warn yourself, protect yourself, they're going to come bowling in again and take what they need and leave. Each time you think, well maybe she's actually serious this time, or I can't help but do something, I can't sit by while she suffers, and each time you dig them out, but once they're free they just walk away.

I don't think anyone can ever get used to being taken advantage of, but if they do nothing good can come of it. they'll become resigned, depressed, and have no leadership over their own lives. Maybe that's why I always get hurt, because I always think there has to be some caring in this person, there has to be something beneath the past, their actions, and their manner. But you know, that's really just who they are and theirs no way to tell what will come of it.

So each time you're just left to wonder and speculate at their own cold feelings and your idiotic actions. Each time you think you'll do better next time, and each next time you do the same thing. Maybe that's what comes from too warm a heart, maybe that's why everything always hurts, no matter how much you smile. Because you know that it's going to hurt again and you're just waiting for that to happen.